Bike rides and trees

I did a bit better today at not going ‘off my tree’ when the girls do something that irritates my defined wee world of perfectionism! I had come to the Lord last night, with just sad feelings and I’d cried and told him all my deep groanings. I was deeply honest and it was great. How do I forget to do this or why do I fill my time with so many other things and not Him. Anyway, it was good. Part of my talking to God was about my anger and how i have been flying off the handle. Today when the girls got mud all over their pants …… oh and mine …… I just was so fine about it and didn’t even react. I’m writing this so I can look back and remember. It may not sound like much to anyone else, but it was a bit of a milestone considering the last few days. We went on a trip - the girls biking (and somehow landin in the mud!) and me taking photos of trees that i really liked. something i'd been meaning to do for myself for ages. The photo of the tree is one of my favourite old houses on our street and i love the starkness of the winter represented on the tree.
The talk at church yesterday was about our past (our history) and how people in the bible made visual reminders (markers of their journey) so they could pass the miracles and stories onto their children and so on. What will this season in my life leave and how can I leave reminders – visual, of what God has done? I read in Mary Demuth’s parenting book, about her children finding it hard to live in France and how they took a Psalm and wrote their own – ‘things we miss from America’ was at the top and ‘something we like about France’ was at the bottom. It was an offering of sorts and a visual display of their own feelings. I am so glad of ideas and help through this season – for us to make great memories despite our pain and for us to be able to express our feelings and have a visual reminder of how God has helped us through this time.
Some more good memories for today: The girls said today how they would like to go back to London. We went when they were much smaller. They don’t know yet that my family are paying for us to go in Dec to visit with my brother and his wife. It is the second time they have said something like that. I responded by saying “why don’t we? Let’s just go, real soon OK!” they were pretty excited and that was with them thinking I was just being crazy and not truthful! I can’t wait to tell them.
We talked about High’s and lows over the dinner table tonight. I said I loved watching them bike down the road with me. They agreed and said that was a high. K liked overtaking L on her bike and being the fastest. I liked watching.
Another cool thing I read, in Sarah Williams book ‘Shaming the strong’ (the challenge of an unborn life) was about peace. I’ve never been able to explain how God has bought amazing peace to my life considering the disturbing past months. She puts it perfectly: I guess ‘peace that passes all understanding’ (Phil 4:7) would not mean anything if it was not the peace of a lighthouse in the middle of a horrendous storm.

God, thank you so much for your peace. It is amazing. Thank you for being able to remember the good and amazing things you have done. Help me not to forget what you are teaching us but to live it and help others with it eventually. May all this be to your glory.