Twas the time around Christmas .....

It's raining a lot - i'm wondering if that is happening all around the world and not just on the sunny Gold Coast of Australia.  Pouring down, no stopping, nothing to do but go to the shops and read books.  Crazy.  
Of course I packed for summer weather so i'm glad it's not cold with the rain!  We've tried twice in the last two days to take the kids out biking etc and as we get to the place it starts opening up on us again! Oh dear, how sad.  How mad!  Luckily my bro has a few flat screen tv's set up around his home for various movie watching experiences or Xbox 360 game playing.  


I know it's snowing itself in London and Paris, hope you are having a lovely restful time Matty and Sez.  Merry Christmas again my lovely ones.  


No photos at the mo, haven't put any on my brothers computer but may try later.  


(coming up - the reflective kind-of saddy part of the last few days) Chrissy day was nice of course, i only cried twice in the morning anticipating my babes leaving for a few nights.  Mum and karley (sister'n'law and friendy) sat with me as i had a few teary moments.  I also had times feeling pretty useless as a single mum thinking i'd only bought them ridiculously small (travel safe) presents and felt even worse when L wondered where the big present was.  I justify my choice by saying that kids get so much stuff and they should be glad of the lovely gifts they were given, but on the side-line of my own coaching I somehow feel a bit sad about the lack of 'big present'.  Because they are part of a separated family situation now, they seem to get double the amount of presents that any normal kid would receive, so it wasn't so bad for them I'm sure (santa bought them a WII for them at their Dad's place ......).


Walking some of this life is stony ground, not ground walked before and I should expect there will be disappointment along the way or perhaps feelings of not being 'good enough'.  The truth is - they got heaps of pressies and they are blessed.  It's just me own feelings of inadequacy i need to hit away with a baseball bat.  Shall do that!


I missed having a husband or special man friend buy for me.  I opened two gifts which were awesome and the next day i got to spend some money from my precious ma.  It felt a bit empty but i came face to face with that and I understand that as reality.  It's lovely being with my bro and his wife. I miss the silly jokes and the having a side-kick to share with.  


Poor girls were pretty sad after saying bye to their dad.  K even prayed that we would get back together.  She hasn't prayed that for a long long time.  Didn't feel it was the appropriate time to share that their Dad had got the divorce papers last yr (with my help at finally doing it) and it was all finito.  


This is Christmas for us.  Cut in half with a visit to the other parent, Double presents, enough to start a toy shop, some tears from at least one parent.  I'm probably not enjoying that reality - something that will happen every year for awhile.  I am comforted that others do it and that they do it well and maybe i can be cheered by their examples or their testimonies.  But our reality brings me pain.  I have to accept that and walk that rocky road at times. 


(the cheerier end to the write-up) On the bright side, there is also delicious food, time with beautiful people, and this year there was this one nice wee treat:  
Bayleys, Tolblerone, cream Liqueurs (not sure how to spell that sorry).  As we came through duty free we got to taste this sensation.  I told older bro about it and he popped out to get the necessary goodies.  I enjoyed a pretty similiar experience at my very own brothers home, at Christmas.  Chunks of ice, tolblerone, loads of cream and a hint of baileys.  Bliss @ Chriss.  


(oh and I got my very first Le Cruset Casserole dish - how bliss at Chriss is that!  A nice wee chrissy pressy paid for by a few sweet peeps!  It is one beautiful dish.  Just need some great casserole recipes for that, ready for winter cooking on my fireplace all day!)


Like this quote ..... to finish off with .....
One does not always have to wait for something out of the ordinary. The all-important thing is to keep your eyes on what comes from God and to make way for it to come into being here on the earth. If you always try to be heavenly and spiritually minded, you won't understand the everyday work God has for you to do. But if you embrace what is to come from God, if you live for Christ's coming in practical life, you will learn that divine things can be experienced here and now, things quite different from what our human brains can ever imagine.

Spoilt lady

It was a 37 year olds birthday in our home yesterday.  The 37 year old was woken at 6am to little happy birthday talkings but allowed to sleep for an extra half hour while the 6 year old made her card.  Phew for the older lady.  She was glad.

The card was made and was such a kind card.  It said 27!  Then it had an oops underneath it followed by the correct digits.  Very cute.

The small digited ladies of the house gave the more senior birthday girl this: 

The day continued as friends gathered for Strawberry cloud, shrunk chocolate mud cake and lemon creme (thank you Pip (ala Annabelle Langbein) and Bec for the recipes!).  Many pals met at our new place, for wine, chatting and fun.

All day she seemed to gather a line of presents around her, wherever she went.  She was feeling very thought of and very blessed.  parcels and texts from all over the country, world and from little Palmy Town too. 

Loved it, quite stress free really esp at Chrissy time.  So glad some lovely peeps could come out amongst the busy season to celebrate another year gained in the life of one person.


There were no parks in the couldersack where we live, i think the street got a fright as it's such a quiet wee street and then i go and throw a PARTY!

I will try  my best to tell people to celebrate their own age-turning.  But i kept wanting to pull out of this one, it felt like it was 'crazy-loco' with Chrissy approaching (no diff from any year i'm guessing!).  BUT so so glad i did it.  I was esp glad as I got to share  a wee bit with one of my beautiful guests, about how much God loves her.  What an honour, on an older ladies birthday!

37 - nearer to 40 than i've ever been.  Loving life and still not feeling old.  Just prob seeing it in my body! This week my mum was up and i had begun to feel slightly overwhelmed with being on my own and trying to do all the things that one needs to do with working and keeping house and caring for babes.  She encouraged me, bought us bk for dinner and i know she will be praying for me without her even saying.  My mum doesn't read this (as i've always kind of kept this as my personal diary), but I do wanna put it out there that she is very much the mum of the YEARS of my life.  Amazing woman.


The birthday continues - we're making our way down the island to the airport for tomorrow, visiting with some LIFE friends along the way.  What a special honour it is to do life with people.  New and old friends.  Appreciating that, all the 37 years of it.


Merry CHRISTmas.  May the wonder of God sending his son to earth, be fresh for you this year.  May you know Him more. Love me xx

stars in my eyes

Some things are truly physical reminders, like stars, that God is near.  Emmanuel.

This little girl and her sis make me smile (and sometimes scream) a lot.

Both L and K have sewn their names onto pillowcases, so lovely.

A bit scratchy to sleep on i imagine so we turn them over!

Sometimes I feel particularly useless at connecting with God, apart from rambling my desperations or mutterings to him when I"M needing some kind of help.

Ever present God.  Never leaving or forsaking God.  Loving Father.

I read this which encouraged me today:

"When you find yourself empty, do not imagine a mountain of transfiguration will be the answer.  Sit. breathe quietly for a few min in your own room, on your own chair.  Trust.  Sometimes when you do this regularly, you are brought into a quiet place of prayer where you are not sure where you end and where God begins."

Moving on with  a few more stars in my eyes .......

All of these women were seen by me in the last few weeks, one friend from Ausi was flying in for a family thing and the other was flying in from Christchurch for Bon Jovi and through a few texts we managed to sort out a brunch date.  Old friends from yonks ago. Dear dear friends.

We then hit this dear one's special birthday!  So bliss to celebrate with you Pip, love you precious and twinkling star.

Ange, being with you, even for a few hours, is fun and needed.

You are true.  You are loving.  You are inspiring.

Thank you for your heart towards me.  A star in my eyes

(So glad that Bon Jovi helped us meet up!  Thank you BJ).

We head away next week over the seas and far away.  Holidays are great and so too is Christmas.

I'm hopeful to get better at a few things next year - being better at getting out of the house without causing fireworks,

jumping on the tramp with the girls even more, 

(i nearly die of exhaustion as i'm double bouncing the girls all over the place)

being more prayerful, however that looks,

bike riding with my babes,

realising that God speaks even through annoyances with others

(perhaps asking Him, "what is going on here for me?  Why am I reacting this way?) - sounds very deep

blah blah

Merry Christmas.  

(Posts have been very sparse of late.  Sorry if it's frustrating jumping on and seeing the same post!)