Pruning and being

I spent a few hours the other day with a wonderful woman, a new friend who is delicious. She is older than me, wiser and more clever-er indeed! I was needing some help with a small assignment I’m doing so we researched together. It was so great going deeper with research, deeper than the Bible gives at times. Understanding the cultural times, the belief systems current in that time, even about the land. I was greatly encouraged and helped by this friend.
Then I was reading a great poem by Eddie Askew (whoever he may be) and his notes on John 15 – abiding in the vine. It helped me with understanding winter again but also challenged me with what it means to abide in Him.
He writes …… It would be easy to be glib, and say that suffering is a pruning, and that the pain is worthwhile because of it’s fruit. I can’t go that far. Suffering can work wonders, strengthen character, bring fruit; but it doesn’t always. It can damage and break, too. Perhaps the clue is in our being branches of the vine, which is Christ. Secure in him, pruning is positive. It still hurts, we still feel like screaming, but we know he’s there, and that he’s gone through the same process himself. Maybe we need to remember that the cross began as a tree.
Then part of his poem to go with his response to the text …. The cut worm, the pruned branch, both bleed, each in it’s own way. And in the bleeding lies its healing. Lies new growth. One of the many miracles of daily life.
Lord when I scream, and others too, gather us to yourself.
Help me to see, and them,
That understanding isn’t all that matters.
Isn’t that at the root of things.
The truth is,
That when I’m grafted into you,
My pain is your pain.
My groan your groan.
And you healing is mine.
In time.
And in eternity.

I guess I’m real keen to abide more and especially amidst this feeling of suffering. But I do feel at a bit of a loss as to what ‘abiding’ looks like for me. I think part of the retreat I’m going on next week, will be about abiding. It will also be about forgiving. Thank you to my friends for reminding me of truth.
Some cool things: K, the 5 year old, is making Rakau sticks at school and doing actions songs with them. We made some tonight out of old magazines and she is going to teach us some tomorrow. I remember the days of singing beautiful Maori songs and throwing sticks to whoever was lucky enough to try and catch them. L is seeing things quite outside of the box at the moment. She just pops up with things that I don’t even think about. It’s pure lovely hearing her mind wandering all over the place. She made a telescope out of paper and selotape today and as Grandma tried to encourage her, she told her “oh Grandma it’s just pretend!” We had devilled sausages as well tonight. My mum said it reminded her of Gran’s meals. It so did. I might make them more! The girls thought they were yum, without the sauce and onion of course. Photos – just us abiding at a café, we love fluffies and coffee – it’s mostly always my idea but the girls have done it since birth, ye ha for tradition and ye ha for coffee. Love me