mean mummy

Some of the latest conversations:

“Mum this sucks, I hate being sick. It’s going to last forever. I’ll never be able to go back to school. But I love being home with you mum, doing special things”. What a brave wee poppet. How annoying for her.

“Oh mum this day is just so great, going to the river and then a party, and then havng our photo taken (with a friend doing an assignment) and even going to dinner after that with some friends. What a great day.” This one fell in the mud at that dinner and was quite distraught as I kept asking her to show her muddy-bottomed jeans to everyone! It was a delicious day with so many facets to it. Falling over and everything just added to it. We tried to refocus on the positive things at the end of the day when mostly tired feelings were surfacing.

L had been sick for the 4^th day with an upset tummy. She fell over in the river, had various scrapes over her body and then to top things off, she stood on glass at the photo-shoot. Such a brave wee poppet. Sometimes these things make me go crazy so I’m really trying to remember to give cuddles and reassurance that everything will be alright!

The girls whispered something one evening recently and after a few q I found out what they had whispered: “sometimes mummy is mean”. The statement had been agreed on. I wasn’t too upset when hearing this, I was sorry that they felt I was but we talked about it. I loved mocking them as I brought out the jelly I’d made that day covered with icecream and sprinkles, saying “Here is something from the mean mummy”. I was the best mummy then. Love the honesty, love to talk it through trying not to be threatened by it. K was told by a wee lad in her class, that he wanted to marry her. She was tickled pink and told me with absolute freedom, giggling with excitement. I am so glad she told me. I hope that she will keep telling me and that I will react appropriately, even if I’m shocked!

I realized the joy of the changed response tonight. I have been given the gift of being able to give a different response, after 18 months of giving the same one. It has been broken record material for a long time. Tonight when a special lady asked me how d was, I was able to give a more positive report. I was able to say that finally I was able to say something good – that he is doing better it seems. Praise you God, there is good news always with you. Even though I don’t see daily what progress is happening with d, I am so glad of the small times I’ve seen over the last month. And it’s good to share, finally. God keeps pursuing us, even if we give up. He has never stopped pursuing d, it’s just that d has maybe softened or responded or something. It’s cool to see, in a world where there is often bad news. Ye ha for that.

It just reminds me of simplicity – of keeping praying despite what our eyes see and of trusting and being obedient when we don’t see fruit but knowing that He is faithful and able to do immeasurably more than we ask or imagine.

I am glad for these stories I’ve seen. I’m glad because they remind me of You God and how you move when people have such little faith. As I tell the small stories of greatness, my faith is fueled again.