All parts being known

A few aims of late:

To start using ical (calendar programme on macs), esp as I have it on my computer but also so I can be more accountable to myself in the PE area of my life mostly.

To get my teaching registration up-and-running so I can begin to teach again. Kind of beginning to realize, after many-a-year, I am passionate about that and pretty alright at doing it.

To get up earlier to read and pray.

Get some prayer for my fear: When I was little I remember vividly praying in my bed that I would die before my mum and dad so that I wouldn’t have to be sad. I think now, that those were big thoughts for a young girl to have at such a young (maybe 5) age. Where did they come from? Funny, or actually not funny thing: Dad died of cancer when I was 11. Crazy.

I spent my married life fearing that d would die too. We would discuss it and he would always comment that he wouldn’t die. He was right. He didn’t die, he desserted. Jumped ship. I always remember having very opinionated views re death and divorce, as a teenager and teacher. My opinion was that death was easier. It was final. On a bad day, I will wish that it was death and not the other.

So my latest thing that I worry about, is what will happen if I die, with my girls? I just had a few thoughts over the weekend and am thinking rather than just leave those to fester, I’ll open them up to Jesus who is the Light of the World. He is the light of my world. I’ll get someone to pray with me cause I always remember how my fun and luscious friend Ange said one day: Let’s stand together and pray, let’s believe together for this. I’ll stand with you. Kind of like: two is better than one.

He is a kind helper bringing things to the surface, of our lives, so we can see his restorative work. Rather than carry this load, I’ll share it.

Just a cute thing to finish with. Mum arrived last week with presents for Mothers day that the girls had picked out. Check them out.

How well they seem to know me. I've not talked about wanting a teapot to them but i have wanted one. My fav colour is blue and mum tried to talk L into buying a white one (as ma knew my favouring kitchen colour was white) but she was definate in wanting this. I love it!

I couldn't have chosen a better candle myself. What wonderful taste k has!

To be loved is to be known. I felt really known in this experience. Precious ones.