red runs my heart

I have felt a little like Bridget Jones in her second film where she is convicted of carrying drugs and ends up in a Thai prison (thinking there is not much chance of that at present!). She says “I’m feeling a little low”. Me too.

I don’t write this because I’m feeling sorry for myself but for the simple truth that it is.

I can put it down to a few things but the feeling of being empty inside is prob how I’d describe it. A little bit like I’m there but I’m not. Running a little low on petrol (which is true for my car at the mo, too!). I’ve found it a long week or two, being a mum on her own. I’ve found the ‘sweet-hearts’ have been arguing non-stop and that has done me in a bit. A lot I guess.

So I’m trying to keep it simple, be positive and all that guff. I’m trying to remember that this is part and parcel of humanity, and that part of my faith-journey is climbing a few mountains that I don’t feel like. Parts of it are lonely and parts are overwhelming. But that is reality in a life lived in this world.

I do like Bridget Jones, she’s quite funny, she’s very human, she fails quite often but also gets back up and tries again. I could write all the things I’m thankful for but not today. I def am thankful and can see some really great things around me. I read a beautiful part of a book today (quote below) which was encouraging which leads me to say I’m down but not out. I’m mostly writing just to get it out of my silly little head, onto my cute little blog. Amen.

Hoping does not mean doing nothing. It is not fatalistic resignation. It means going about our assigned tasks, confident that God will provide the meaning and the conclusions. It is not compelled to work away at keeping up appearances with a bogus spirituality. It is the opposite of desperate and panicky manipulations, of scurrying and worrying.

It is a willingness to let God do it his way and in his time. Eugene Peterson, Long obedience in the same direction.