red runs my heart

I’m really looking forward to the holidays. We haven’t got much planned yet but I’m pretty sure it will grow into something special each day. Even if that does mean just staying home, making ginger gems for ourselves and having puppet shows or riding bikes to the park.
The girls and I wrote a list of things that we would like to do – only about 3 of them were costly things – going to the two dollar shop and the dairy! One of the things I’m looking forward to, is not having to get up to get k ready for school. Laying in bed longer, reading a book or just having some extra zzzz’s will be amazing.
This is the last set of holidays before our big OE together. As this approaches there is certainly some excitement for me. I’m also feeling sadly aware that nearly a year has gone by and no major miracle has happened yet for d, that I am aware of. I hate that. I am somewhat mystified by it too, how one can change so radically without consideration for another. Finding compassion for a person who is without kindness is something that is Christ-like. I am stirred and challenged by Jesus and by others in this season, in how to treat one who acts coldly and harsly, to treat as Christ would. I am, even though it’s hard, grateful to wise ones who have spoken kindly to my heart, when it’s been stone-ish.
As humans we are quite mysterious. The transformation that a caterpillar goes through to become an amazing butterfly happens to us all, if we allow it. It is the time that we find hard to accept. I certainly do. I read that the waiting (cocoon time) precedes celebration. I am feeling quite tired again, of the waiting. Funny thing is, the most change seems to happen in the waiting time for a caterpillar in cocoon. Encouraging I guess.
What does this look like, the waiting that is? Sometimes I feel like it’s a picture of me waiting for a cake to cook when I’m supposed to have been out the door 10 minutes earlier and the cake is still doughy in the middle. But how it looks in the every day swing of things, is not me sitting at home twiddling my thumbs. Waiting looks like a road well travelled with a few bumps on the way, where I’m living life, making the most of opportunities, not doing too much extra but focusing on being a good mum and making memories with the girls with the final destination not actually known (very long sentence!). I can do this. I’ve been doing it all year and in writing this down, I’m seeing that I actually can do this.
Some things I’m looking forward too during the cocoon time I’m in: wearing my new slippers in (I love ugg boots, they are the best!), making an orange chocolate cake (with a whole orange, pith and all), having to learn to use the food processor to make that cake, going away with some delicious friends for a wee break in the holidays, taking some more photos ……………….
The road best walked, is one with Him. “He walks with me, he talks with me, along life’s narrow way”. And He asks me to tell Him my story, for Him to hear it from my mouth, even though He knows every part. Thank you God, for being in my story, every step of the way.