Today I'm Moses i realise. The person who ran when the tough got going. Today I’m Adam, the one who hid from God when he realised his state. Today I’m lots of those people.
Mostly I’d like to be David. Little guy who took on big guy. I think I realize I need to be him. His story is there for me. I feel like him picking up those few pebbles – I’m at that place not quite ready to chuck them or face the giant but choosing the right ones for the job.
I breathed in the air so keenly as I walked along the river today. August has surprised me – the weather has been breath-taking. Sunny. Calm. Warmer than the past few months indeed. And the flowers are beginning to pop themselves out into our world again. Spring. As I walk up the little hill which gets me to the path leading along the river, I want to run like a little girl in a field full of sunflowers or daisies even. I don’t, as there are a lot of people around. But I breathe in the air and smile to myself. It’s beautiful. I don’t even say much to God but I am glad I know Him and I tell him I don’t want to run and hide from the pain of my abandonment.
My eyes are often drawn to this picture. It is some of the members of my family and it just reminds me about life and how it’s meant to be done. Together, holding hands (sometimes pulling another along), laughing, talking and crying, but together. It is a beautiful picture of the help I have for raising the girls by myself. It simply reminds me of what being together is. Visual reminders have impacted me so much in the past year.
The woman in Song of Solomon talks about herself harshly, her appearance worries her maybe – her darkened skin from the sun’s harsh rays along with her brothers ridicule and having to work in the fields. Then the man speaks: If you can’t find me loveliest of all women, it’s all right…… You remind me of Pharaoh’s well-groomed and satiny mares……..
He speaks in the pain of our circumstance and as He does, I am free-er. Pictures or words, whatever it is, I am changed.
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