Purely thankful

(not sure how to turn photo round sorry)
Larry Crabb’s book, inside out, is my latest read.
“An inside look can help me to face my dependency on God in a manner that requires me to grapple with what it means to deeply trust.
It can also expose my determination, in all its subtle ugliness, to manage life on my own”
I have been and still am a ‘manager of my own life’. I am not sure how to get to the next level where I am more dependent on God and not myself, but I’m only into the third chapter. Having counsel from others is also helping me take a look at myself which is something I’ve never truly done. I haven’t known how actually and have been too busy doing stuff.
An underlying message in my life, even though I don’t believe it, is that ‘busy is good’. I have placed value on being busy. I have felt complete and at home with being busy. I have felt valued by others, in being busy. This is hard to write actually as I don’t’ believe in my heart, that it is good to be busy but it’s funny how that has been drummed into me somehow and how I have lived by it for years. There are other underlying messages that I’ve been living by but I’m focusing on this one today.
Because of this busy-ness, I’ve not learnt to relax and find it hard too. I bought another magazine today. This is a small thing I’m doing to help me unwind and read something just for me. Good girl Sarah, I say talking to myself.
So a bit of my innerself, has let itself out in words and now it’s out. I’m not quite sure what to do with it but I’m glad that I am on this voyage into the unknown. It’s flippin good.
A few things to be thankful for is next. Being thankful is positive and reminds me of life and it’s freshness rather than focusing on death and dumb stuff. Im thankful that L prayed tonight thanking God for joy. I have prayed that for us during this season. She thanked God for joy. How cool from a 4 year old. K prayed that mummy would keep having a softer and softer voice when she was having to tell us off! We talked about how I’m doing better. So cute. I am thankful for the Jamie Oliver cook book that delicious friends just gave me. I’m stoked. The fire is going well, we got given petrol and food money this week, the girls tummy bugs have gone very quickly and an answered prayer: d boy is going to a course with a friend on issues and facing them. Thank you God for miracles. I am in awe of you my God. You are our strength and our fortress. I love you from the inside-out.
Happy birthday caz, love you.