Immanuel

If I had a word of the year, I think it would be Immanuel. It means God with us. And I love it. I have sat at the piano and made simple songs up with it in, reminding me of God with me and God with us. Remembering Immanuel, remembering that He is with us is a key to this year. Today I realized we live a normal-ish life until the second weekend of every fortnight. Today d turned up to get the girls. Mostly in the weeks leading up, I forget about him or I try to remove him from my current thoughts and mostly that works. But it’s like a gun shot or a loud explosion or a pain in my side, on these Saturday pick-up-days. I slump a little, feel sad for quite awhile and mostly have a good old cry. Today I went straight to the piano after crying tears on the already wet washing. I cried as I sung about my Immanual. I realized too, that I had not even consciously made a choice to come and worship in the midst of the explosion of pain that re-entered. I had just gone to the piano.

In the midst of ruggardness, there is this voice calling gently to my heart. “Come, come, come. Let go”. Don’t get me wrong – I am not perfect. For the first few minutes after he drives away with the girls I am pretty agro and swear a bit and tell God my honest hateful feelings. I don’t rant but I do say the same comments over and over with a bucket or two of tears. And then I recognize the voice calling. And I go.

The girls just rang, which was so cool. They wanted to connect and I thought they wouldn’t as I’d been a bit grumpy towards them today. L told me in a very quiet voice that she loved me more than daddy as he sometimes says some quite mean things to her (her words). I felt a little worried for her but offered some prayers and encouragement. K cheerfully talked of the great day she was having and at the end asked me to listen as she blew me kisses. Nice girls.

A friend text and spoke with me offering a night of fun at her place with girlie things. I felt to stay home but was really touched by the grace she offered – no matter what was going on for me, she wanted to know I had options and that I was not forgotten. She reminded me that she loved me no matter what I chose to do tonight. Currently I’m in bed, ready to watch a dvd and have an early night but how beautiful is a friend who has walked in your shoes and offers grace. Thank u.

the night before thanksgiving

not a creature was stirring!

actually i had one extra child sleeping in my bed and one extra child on the floor, all so the mothers could head out for dinner!

Grandma was babysitting my two and my friends two.

There were four of us for dinner. A lovely restaurant.

Lemon chicken pasta salad looked delicious but i ordered the lamb chop which had to be cooked again as it was running around on my plate - ahhhhh, why on earth did i order the lamb chop? Did really need to go back to my childhood cravings?

Everyone was a bit sheepish about sharing their 'thanksgiving note' (a small idea i'd had for a few years) but we somehow got brave and did it. Funny being worried about it as it was a beautiful moment in the evening. It was simple, grateful and straight to the point. One wrote a poem, another included a bible verse, one wrote of being thankful for her red kenwood mixer and her singleness (loved those fun thoughts) and i wrote this:

I am thankful for the ride (i thought it was hannah montana but she sings being 'thankful for the climb' That's what i meant!). I'm thankful that along the journey of my life there are stops along the way, like refreshments in the form of laugh,s beautiful friends, moments where He speaks through creation, humour, movies, even tears and especially prayers.

I'm thankful that in my brokeness he adores me (Chris Tomlins - "he sees the depths of my heart and loves me the same").

It was the coolest wee thing in the middle of a meal. We felt so silly at first but it was lovely sharing those thoughts of gratefulness.

thank you America for having thanksgiving day. We stole the idea and will do it again next year i hope!

Gutted i forgot the camera.

lovely starts to days

The girls blessed their ma this morning by secretly (as secretly as a 5 and 7 year old can - bang, crash, susshh) getting their bags ready, breakfast made and themselves correctly dressed for the day, without one mention from me!

They were so excited to surprise me. it was very cool.

The older one is quite fascinated with boys at the moment, the talk of kissing or seeing it on a movie, suggesting that her sister has a boyfriend and all sorts of things like that. We talked about how it is a normal thing to be friends with a boy and that she needed to work on making it normal and not a big and silly thing!

The younger one is quite a natural at being friends with boys. She has one who wants to marry her (she isn't aware of this) and one that told her he loved her out of everyone, as they played in the sandpit together. Funny, it is rather cute and provides a great platform for some motherly input.

Here is Christmas, yes a little early but here it is.

The lounge is already on the teeny side so add a Christmas tree and some tinsel, we're all full at the inn! Girls are going to d's this weekend so thought we would get the christmas feel for as long as we can before we have to take them down. I am constantly on alert for what is coming up and how i'll cope or manage (or control-freak it!).

I'm not blasting the girls with presents just because i want to feel like the 'better' parent. I've been careful and thoughtful not to spend heaps and also to get appropriate sized and numbers. I've chosen to do their presents when they get home from christmas with d, so they can appreciate them then, rather than forget them. I could have waited till the boxing day sales!

I read a sign this morning on a blackboard - "Buggar, only two pays left till christmas". It's true - i love Christmas and i'm wondering how this first one of this kind, will be. No kids. Will the fun of christmas be present without kids to wake up and harrass about presents? Will i want to just sleep in? Will i cry? ah yeah for sure. Will I be OK? i think yes. i only think yes because i've realised that the weeks prior to a potential emotional storm of sorts, i'm anxious and carrying it close to me heart. And then the time comes and it's usually better than i expect.

That's good aye.

Anyway, not sure why i wrote what i wrote today but in all things there is good and lessons and stuff. I'm getting older and hopefully slightly wiser.

This is a chicken pie i made today, slapped it together and shoved a lid on top - doesn't it look like it! last night i tried a potato bake thing from the latest dish mag. I did it my own kind of way, it took about 7 hours to cook and it was pretty bad. I'm hoping for a better cooking day soon! oh a few friends and i are going out for thanksgiving this week. We are going to a restaurant but with a small note of thanks from each person. We will share these round and read them out, anonymous. It's an idea i've had for awhileland perhaps should have some pumpkin pie but for now it's a great excuse to go out and not have to cook and to be THANKful.

I am thankful to you God. I am thankful for my wonderful friends and family. God bless.

a little bit of Christmas

After reading other blogs, I’ve def started thinking Christmas! I’ve bought presents and even wrapped them so I’m not left with wrapping till midnight on Christmas eve!

Here is a little of our thinking. We’ve been saving yoghurt containers for months with the purpose of making them into gifts to give others at Christmas. I’m hopeful the girls will not just give to their mates. I will be encouraging them to give to neighbours and others who maybe need a ‘lift’. God gave his only son for us. What a giver. I’m hopeful that we can catch that spirit of giving too.

So the yoghurt containers are being decorated and the cookies are starting to be made (and frozen till needed). All good fun.

Not much cost either!

Things I’m thinking about at the mo ……

My hands are covered with superglu. It oozed out when I opened the new packet and went all over my hands. It’s not painful but it is painful as I look like I have some leprous disease on my hands. It’s kind of like the coolness of having PVA stuck to your hands except it’s way harder to get off!

12. I’ve loved that number for the last year. I’ve appreciated it when I’ve gone into shops and assistants have said I’m definately that number. I’m slightly scared of 14 at the moment, but I’ve def been loving 12. I was glad when I got pnemonia, that I wasn’t hungry for about 3 days. I thought that would help maintain that 12 or even lessen it. That was a short-lived moment and due to the lack of walking and the continued joy of the ‘lonely-night’ snacks, I’m more worried about 14 than the joy of 12! Moving to a new city and not knowing many folk, they met me as I was. Me, 5 or so kg’s lighter than I was previously to the move. All induced by the stress of a husband who wasn’t wanting to be one and the prickles or stabbings of pain that went with that. People here have mostly only known me to be closer to the 12 and not the 14. I laugh as I write this. I know it doesn’t matter what size I am to God. I must confess however, that it’s probably the one bonus from the whole disaster zone, that I’ve enjoyed. Being slighter. Feeling a little more confident. So 12, you can stay. I like you, a lot. As I type this I am noticing little bits of white superglu flickering their way around the keyboard. Crazy.

The landlord is putting insulation in the floor and ceiling and a proper fireplace with a special system that pumps it throughout the house! This is an answer to prayer and I’m stoked. We live in a beautiful wee place but it’s also an icebox.

The lettuces and tomato plants are growing. I’ve even planted a corgette plant so I’m hopeful for that one to produce! Do I need to talk to them too? I’ve quite enjoyed watching the growth and I’ve enjoyed the feeling of success.

I was praying with a friend the other day explaining that I’m a little tired of the tension of having faith for d to come back and living in the reality of what it actually looks like – zippo. She is great, I can say anything and she always draws me back into prayer no matter what we are talking about. She prayed about a yappy dog and how it keeps bringing the ball back and back, like the persistent widow in the bible. After the prayers, I wrote the words ‘yappy dog’ down, to remind me to keep coming back to God.

My friend Amy is writing about ‘light’ at the moment. Thank you God, You are the light in the darkness. You are the way, the truth and the life. You are my way, my truth and my life. You are my superglu.

How precious we are to Him

Recently I was in a worship time in a small room of woman, with a cd player, just listening and waiting. Sometimes i hear nothing when i do this but this time there was an overwhelming sense of Him doing something in me.
I immediately (when the CD started) got a picture of a painted work in a friends office.
I had been in love with this picture and how crazy it was that the girls leaping out was a cute wee poppet and that she was smiling and looking so darn cute.
It kind of made me laugh. It definately made me smile.
Anyway as i was recalling this i got some words floating round in my head: Let go. Let go. Let go.

Probably after 20 minutes of sitting in this lovely time, two trusted and delicious woman came along praying for each woman. I had already thought that the picture i was reminded of and the words i was given by Him were enough. But no. The message really needed to get through to me.

The first lady, Margie, got a picture of big hand with a little girl - she called her Thumberlina (and asked if i knew the story). She said that the the Thumberlina was tiny in His hand and felt God wanted to tell me that He can handle anything, as we keep looking at Him. She described a picture of the wee Thumberlina shaking her wee fist at the Maker. Nothing was too much for Him to handle. She encouraged me to point my frustration or whatever, to Him. Another picture came of Thumberlina lying on the ground turning her face away from the Maker. I was encouraged to keep looking at Him.
The second lady, talked of me letting go.

So to have a word from God, given twice, is a pretty clear message. I am daily having to let go of the control i like to have or need to have even if i haven't really got it! Possibly doesn't make sense BUT i'm learning to abandon myself to Him, leaping out like the wee princess in the picture.

The priviledge of being invited

We were heading off to a fun night of fire works and it was an honour to be invited. It was the best night I’d had in ages. It was a prime example of people making fun for themselves and others and for creating and continuing traditions. Like Sat am pancakes, but way better!
The girls, 5 and 7, were both so excited.
“oh mum, it is so nice of kitty to invite us”, spoken on the way there.
And from the moment we arrived, we were captivated, included and loved.

The truck ride came first


Followed by an egg hunt and an obstacle course ……



The lolly man (chase him and grab as many lollies off his shirt as possible, share them with others who didn’t get many),



And some tubing full of icecream.


During the evening, a craft room where the girls made themselves at home

The final curtain was fireworks, with glow sticks, blankets and ear muffs for little ears. We were happy campers as we left in the dark, talking all the way home about how special it was to be invited.

To finish, 'go bananas bread'. It's delicious, thanks Donna Hay kids Annual 6!
130g soft butter
1 C brown sugar
1 t vanilla essence
2 eggs
3 bananas
1 1/2 C flour
1 t baking powder
1/2 t baking soda
1/4 t ground cinnamon
1/4 C maple syrup

1. Oven to 160 degrees

2. line loaf tin (large one)

3. beat butter, sugar and vanilla until it's pale brown and creamy. slowly add eggs and beat until well mixed

4. Mash the banana with a fork and add to batter

5. Sift the flour, b powder and b soda. chuck in the cinnamon and maple syrup.

6. Beat until everything is mixed in

7. Bake for one hour

The 7 year young

I had planned to write about K with these photos for her 7th birthday, i forgot though!



There are never too many photos i find. Thank you God for photographs.
Thank you God for K.

Turning my face

Our yearly birthday family photo in bed, emmmm sexy

Again I have an assignment due and I haven’t started. But I’ve had thoughts again and again and have lacked the time to get them down in my on-line journal. I read other peoples blogs, ones who have committed themselves to writing daily and I feel exhausted by that! But I love reading them and I know this is a super thing for me to do.

I’m feeling a bit dumb. Loving being a mum doing what I’m doing (helping at church, walking for fitness, catching up with people hopefully encouraging them and cleaning the house of course) but feel a little like a dumbo for doing just that. I don’t even know what I’d do given the chance. My mum encouraged me to get a retail job the other day – because I’m good with people. It would have to be the right one. I think I’d hate tidying clothes up but I’d love helping people find what looks good on them. What about a job that helps males shop for clothes? That could be fun. Probably the most satisfied I’ve ever felt is when I’ve worked with kids in teaching. But do I need to go back to what I’ve known? Is this a fresh chance for something new? I have no idea.
So I feel a little bit overwhelmed by things like – ‘where will we live next year if the landlord doesn’t make our beautiful house warmer?’ and ‘what will I do for work?’ and ‘what will I do when the two years is up from being separated from the boy I married’ and ‘do I sell my car?’ etc. These are annoying but important questions for me at the mo.
I want to give all this to the King of my heart who is our God. Your plans are good, may I be reminded of that more and more as we approach the end of the year. I turn my face to You.



K you turned 7 last Fri.
You are such a blessing. You make me laugh and smile all at once.
I am constantly smiling inside and out when you surprise me with a cuddle in bed and you don’t just want to lie there, you want to be close!
I saw you reading in a tree the other day, with two cushions and a towel to help.
I love your brain and how it ticks. You articulate yourself well even in the midst of a ‘mummy’ storm. Last night you cleared the heavy atmosphere with just one sentence. I was humbled and the truth was bought to the light. I need you. Our family needs you. You are amazing.
You are a beautiful writer, a creative storyteller and player, one who loves time by herself or time with scrillions of others.
You care for the lost or the lonely.
You have a moral conscience which I pray keeps getting built by His ways.




You have a cute dress sense yet you don’t mind getting mucky to have fun.
You are a princess. You ask questions of yourself without even speaking – do I look pretty? Am I good enough for this?
You sometimes doubt your ability but are learning to persevere and see success.
You love adventure. You want adventure. You dance and sing for us, sometimes without even knowing. You can change the atmosphere of a room just by being YOU.
I adore you. I’m sorry when I’m rough towards you and when I don’t notice you need something from me. I pray that I would know more and more how to help you and how to be with you. I love it that you want to do stuff with me. Thanks for wanting to ride or scooter into town to climb trees or have a fluffy with me.



My prayer for you is that you would stay soft towards the God who is your Heavenly Dad. I pray that you would know Him and His unlimited love for you. I pray that you would be someone that hears his Word and obeys it, one day giving your life up for His Kingdom.
Happy Birthday my precious girl. You are still as cute today as you were when you were born. May you always turn your face to the King

small reminder note

i have much to blog about but somewhere my 'blog time' has been eaten up.

Alas i shall get to it.

In the meantime, a quick note to remind me of something great that was talked of at church today.

We don't worship God because he has a big ego and needs our Praise. We worship because of who He is and who we are. As we worship, we are reminded about who He is and our place before Him.

Simple but so true. He is God. I am me. little me.

Holy is the Lord God Almighty. Who was and who is and who is to come.

Blessing and Honour and Glory and Power forever.

(Rev 4 and 5)

Summer and good friends

Finally summer bullied out winter, even when rain was forecast.
Bliss. The girls made the most of the smiling sun, climbing trees and taking their indoor stories, outdoors, for a scenery change!


A visit from a wine-bearing friend,

A present from her kind mother for our Christmas deco's

A green thumb friend wanting to help me become one. Thanks Han, hope we don't kill the potential lettuces,

A river visit and fabulous food all combined to make a great long weekend.

clever girls

I love these pictures the girls did! Spontaneous creations, L did this one for a friend but i hope she keeps it at home as i adore the zebra, cat (i think) and pig!



K made these for two different friends. One pal loves soccer, one pal loves dancing. They are different girls but all love to be together. What a thoughtful love!



And then look at what i made! I'm pretty stoked with the outcome, displaying my cookie cutters. There is no room for it anywhere in my house, but it's for another house, one day! It was so cheap to make as a friend gave me the board, and it was an idea i'd had and it finally feels good to have done that idea (photo doesn't do it justice)!

It's labour weekend and i'm going on a small road trip with a friend and her kids. Loving the thought of another sleep-in on Mon and seeing/hanging out with precious people. It's not raining either which is a miracle. Winter has certainly been bullying out summer!

Scrillions of things to be thankful for …..

Bubble gum – remember first trying to blow a bubble? There is pink stuff running down the girls faces and I’m struggling with my own thesaurus of words, to explain how to make a piece of gum into a bubble. Such fun especially when L tries to talk with gum in her mouth. Soft juicy cheeks rolling around trying to make bubbles. Thanks Cazzie for the entertainment and joy you provide for us!

Look at these loot bags from a delicious party the girls were at. I love your creativity Rach, you clever mumby. The girls adored these. I am in love, continually, with womens creativity. I have such clever friends.

I did steal (with the girls permission) the blackballs from those very loot bats, to make a wee kiwi-ana presentation on my table. My cook book group are looking at making gifts for others for Christmas, this month. What a simple treat – a jar, some boiled loll-lolls and a pair of servers. Cute, esp with the ribbon to finish off. (If I do say so myself!!).

We were on a journey, a 2 hour journey and one of the little ones in our family came up with this idea: Hey mum, let’s play the ‘glad’ game!

What?

The glad game, from Polyanna.

Oh yeah (thinking – “sounds lame but maybe it could work”, and then, “why didn’t I think of this?”)

So we played this glad game – being glad for things. They were glad that I was getting better (with my swineflu/pnemonia episode) and all sorts of other beautiful things. It was a truly delicious game, surprisingly.

This year I met this amazingly lovely couple at school. They have invited us into their worlds and made us feel so welcome and part of their lives. I got a new camera recently and was slowly making my way through the instruction manual. Hubby of the lovely couple, asks if I need help as he’s trained on this camera. Manual is dropped immediately. What a gem. He helped, I learnt. Wifey of lovely couple joined in and then they took me out for coffee. They are so cool. I want to be like them! Their prayer most days is that people who come to their home (which they describe as a ‘mad-house’ because there are so many who pass through), will be better or feel better when they leave. Very encouraging.

It’s raining again. Can’t believe it. Not really thankful about that.

I love cushions, i love cook books. I am addicted to some things and am proud when i don't buy them (restraint!) and disappointed if i don't have the money to purchase them. But don't you love the wharehouse in NZ? Just picked up a few delicious cushions for a very cheapo price. Love getting a bargain!

Girls came home after a weekend at d-boys. It was a hard one as they learnt about going away for Christmas. But it was a great one too. K just kept saying, in such cheery and genuine happiness, that she was so glad to be home. That’s right baby. This is home. Wherever you and I are and L, is home. We talked about that this is our home and not to call it ‘mummys house’. It’s not a biggie, but to bring stability I wanted to remind them that wherever we are, it’s OUR Home. We are a family. Daddy chose to leave so it is called ‘daddy’s house’ and that’s OK. But let’s call this ‘our home’. Others may think differently about that, but it was something that I had felt to do. To add again, to their unstable world. A simple thing that hopefully bought some simplicity to complicated.

This is my fav card this week, from k who is just about to turn 7 - ahhhhhh! What a delicious and thoughtful girl. I am so proud of her and her yummy sister. A quote from a kind friend who hosted my girls recently, reminding me of what i feel i lack many-a-time!:

Sez, you have done (and are doing) such an amazing job with your girls! They are just so lovely and we love seeing them. Bailey is always so excited when she knows she is going to see her friends. They were just lovely at the party and are such a credit to you! Kaiya was awesome - she offered to help where ever she could, did a few little jobs for me, sidled up and talked with Boo when she was feeling overwhelmed and just had lovely conversations with me. Livster was great too - she made me smile when she came over and asked in a little voice where Grandma was - I had no idea and asked her if I could help her with something. She told me she just wanted to tell Grandma she had had enough to eat because she was listening to her body - I love it!!! They are so lucky to have you as their mummy!!!

I am glad, like Polyanna, of the goodness around us. When life is tricky at times, there is always something else to smile about.

thoughty quote

Patient Trust

Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, St

Above all, trust in the slow work of God.
We are quite naturally impatient in everything to reach the end without delay.
We should like to skip the intermediate stages.
We are impatient of being on the way to something unknown, something new.
And yet it is the law of all progress that it is made by passing through some stages of instability---and that it may take a very long time.

And so I think it is with you.
Your ideas mature gradually--let them grow,
Let them shape themselves, without undue haste.
Don't try to force them on,
as though you could be today what time
(that is to say, grace and circumstances acting on your own good will)
will make of you tomorrow.

Only God could say what this new spirit gradually forming within you will be.
Give our Lord the benefit of believing that his hand is leading you,
and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself in suspense and incomplete.

laments

I’m doing an assignment on the life of David. I have to choose one chapter and exegete the scripture and prepare a talk on it (good practice for preaching prep). I’ve chosen 2 Sam chapter 1 where King Saul and his son Jonathan have died. David has every right to rejoice and be estatic about the death of the man who has tried to kill him many a time, but again David chooses to give glory to God and to give his pain to God. He laments.

I’m reading a lot about lament and how it’s not a winging or whining to God but an invitation more or less, inviting God into the pain of our circumstance. David said that the lament he made, was to be taught to the Israelites. We must learn to lament.

Anyway it’s a good thing to be learning about in more depth. I think I’ve lamented well and in lots of ways over these last few years, perhaps without even knowing it. Today comes another experience of which to cry out to God about, to let him know the despair of my heart and why my face keeps melting.

Last night d said (really kindly and before he has even told the girls) that he will be taking them to another country for Christmas. He kindly told me it was only for 5 days as my voice began to break and the tears began to fall. I had prayed for a few months that he wouldn’t take them and had hope that my prayers would be answered in the way I wanted. But alas! I have to face the pain of the loss of separation. It’s kind of like you’re put in jail for doing something you didn’t do and you just can’t get out. Of course it is not nearly as bad as that but it’s kind of the picture I get – the loss of control, the ‘nothing you can do about it’ kind of scenario. And it’s all happening on my birthday. Yippie.

The same day my big brother and his family leave to go home to Australia, after having an early Christmas with us. I wish he didn’t have to go then and could stay for the 25^th, just so I could feel like I had a family or some sort of semblance of family there. It will just be ma and me for Christmas and as lovely as that is, it just feels painfully small and insignificant. Mum on her own and me on my own.

I’m not sure how I’ll cope but when the feelings of ‘running away’ come (which pose themselves as – “which country could I fly to or which town could I fly to, so I am in control of my abandonment and not having to feel like I’ve been left alone at home), I’m less inclined to entertain them and I’m trying to be more inclined to cry and give those feelings to Him. A kind of lament I think.

Thank you Han, that we can do Christmas with you. Thank you God that you make family out of a mixture of people coming together. Thank you that in the middle of the stormy painful prickles you Live and move and have your way. Thank you d for being kinder in your way with words.

Psalm 25

To you O Lord, I lift up my soul;

In you I trust, O my God.

Show me your ways, O LORD,

Teach me your paths;

Guide me in your truth and teach me,

For you are God my Saviour

And my hope is in You all day long

The troubles of my heart have multipled;

Free me from my anguish

good endings to crazy times

Camp came and went. The girls had a bliss time with a horse ride included and a crazy, wild ride on a wagon that wobbles. I did the job myself, that I’d previously done with d, telling kids about the amazing love of God. It was fun. It was tiring. I was sick at the same time. I mostly loved it.
I talked a lot about journey and wanted them to know that God wanted to join them on their journey through life. I majored on this and just about forgot to invite them to start their journey with Him. You have to have a start mark. The challenge is not even to start I guess, but to choose daily that He would be the centre of the mobile of our lives. I heard many kids pray and ask Jesus to be their saviour, maybe for the first or 7th time, but there were kids deciding to start their journey with God that night. Very cool. I first asked Jesus to be the Lord of my life when I was 4, in the bath with my brother and my Dad praying with us. I remember many other occasions deciding to do it again. All good memories!

Since the camp fun, I’ve been stuck in bed with pneumonia. It’s been incredible to be able to rest so much, having my delicious mumby helping out with the girls.
I’ve had delightful times with them too. L offering to sleep the night with me promising not to wriggle but to just kiss and cuddle me all night. Prayers from them both asking God not to let me die. Thank you Lord.
Helpful munchkins bringing me breakfast in bed, watching mama mia with me, reading me stories and being happy to cuddle up in bed with me, during their holidays.
We read Max Lucado’s, ‘The Special Gift’ where the Wemmicks are given gifts from Eli. Each gift is something that the individual Wemmick loves doing – a guitar, some paint, a new wooden spoon. After we begin reading I ask the girls what they believe their special gift is, that God has given them. K says climbing. Very true. She is great at it and one day may be able to help someone stuck up high! L says ‘Life’.
Such a deep one. Not even sure what it means. But she was sure, repeated it later even. Maybe giving life to people or something.


One night during the last week, K had come home and not wanted to eat dinner complaining of a sore tummy. I went along with it but she was asked to sit with us at the table. Funny thing, she comes into the lounge after dinner and bursts into tears, fessing up that she had lied as she didn’t want to eat the roast vegetables (what?). Now she was hungry. I gave her a joyful hug and congratulated her on her honesty. I said I would heat her up some dinner but while she was waiting I asked her to talk to Jesus about her lie. I shared the verse from 1 John where it says if we ‘fess’ up our stuff, he forgives us and cleanses us from all unrighteousness. Like having a bath from all the dirt!
The happier, truthful girl, ate her tea later with joy. She knew she was right with her family and right with her God.



To finish the week, the week where I thought I’d be in hospital, I got to go with our family, to a wedding of a dear friend who we’d had in church since he was about 11. Also seeing all the cool cats from that time in our life too, was amazing.


It was a joy, a beautiful wedding, I got to pray for the couple in my husky pnemonia voice. It was a loss not being able to stay for the party part but I was so grateful for the miracle of being well enough to even go.
D was there too. It was weird but good. It wasn’t too uncomfortable. Heaps of people talked with him so I hope that was good for his heart. Who knows apart from God maybe, what going on in his heart but my heart was lifted this week when we talked on the phone and he said he hoped I felt better soon. I feel like a fool saying that that was a good thing, but in the world I’ve been living in for nearly two years, it was a good and lovely comment.
Thanks God for the small things and the big things. You are always so good.

camping it up

We're off to camp today. I'm the preacher, the girls are my wee helpers and we're taking a few friends to help.

I've only cried once today, but in prayer. AHHHH help me Jesus.

Haven't done this for awhile and haven't done it on my own. D was always my side-kick bob, or crusty the clown! Such a blessing he was. Missing that.

It's a great honour to be invited back. It should be a lovely change of scenery, a beach and good cafe nearby, some friends to see and some delicious children to teach about a God who loves them radically.

L had a roaring ear infection on sun hence the photo of the loving nursing sister. That same sister was devastated we had to go to the doctors instead of doing something else 'funner'. She was quietly encouraged to make a choice to serve and from that moment she was nurse nicity! An amazing server is my girl. K you were a blessing - rubbing your sisters back, making her laugh, getting her drinks and making the rough time more smooth! What a gal.

Some things i'm loving at the mo:

My new brown nail-polish - hot for chocolate. I feel a little goth but it's not black and it's so delicious like choc!

I'm loving reading cooking books, i'm loving taking the time to read them rather than them just sitting looking pretty on my bookshelves.

I'm loving having a wedding to look forward too. A chap who came through our church as a kid is getting married in a week or so. I'm excited. To dress up and to be there will be bliss.

I'm loving cinnamon danish's (pinwheel scones) from the local bakery. sadly the girls love them too so it's a big cost for that indulgence!

I'm loving cushions. What are the things you would collect if you could? I would collect more cushions and even quilts.

I'm really enjoying reading other peoples blog. finding recipes or insight is really cool. I'm slighty tired from staying up later to read them.

I'm liking how God speaks during the day, even through the freshly laden snow on the hills (in the middle of spring?! ahhhh).

I'm loving watching Pollyanna with the girls and trying to collect those kinds of classics as books for them. another thing to collect!

off to camp now ..... see you soon xx